Yesterday I walked to the gym and the sun was shining, the sky was blue and I let myself be fooled just for a little while that Spring was on the way.
Lies. Lies and delusions. Hours and hours later, after work, we walked to Steve’s car and it was covered in ice. I knew the ‘Springishness’ of this morning was a lie, and that there was at least another round of snow before any hint of true Spring comes along but this was proof, so now I’m going to whinge about it a little. I’m currently wrapped in a blanket like I have been for the last three months resenting every second that I can’t spend on a beach or in the countryside.
I believe in the S.A.D disease, and really wish that someone out there had given it a name that doesn’t automatically mock it. Everyone I’ve spoken to about it either laughs at it as though it is a nonsense concept or completely agrees. But still, I don’t know if I do have this ‘S.A.D’ thing, or if I just particularly hate winter. Not all of winter, the snow is rather good, and the mulled wine. There was going to be a third thing on this list but I honestly can not think of one. My dad keeps offering to lend me his home-made full-spectrum light box but it is consists of two full-spectrum fluorescent strip lights nailed to a piece of plywood and it is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. So ugly that he could probably sell it to a museum as Modern Art if he told them something deep and meaningful about the contrast between this Thing he made and how pretty actual sunlight looks.
I actually mentioned in my recent (successful) job interview that one of the reasons I want a job here is because ‘It’s very warm in here and I cant imagine spending the next six months shivering in a freezing cold milkshake shop’, and they completely understood. (and then I said a bunch of stuff about the importance of online communities for old people). I think we all have selective memories when it comes to winter, remembering the snow and the parties and Christmas and forgetting the 6 months of shivering and grey skies and freezing cold, or there would be no-one left in the country after they’d experienced one of them. It snowed exactly once so far and it happened to be on a day that I was not obliged to be anywhere else all afternoon.
I made my blog tagline ‘trying not to hibernate’ because I have actually spent the last 3 months shivering under a blanket, sleeping 11 hours a night and inhaling pizza and cheese and KFC. Now things feel different. I’m obsessed with soup and smoothies (thanks Steve’s dad, for the blender) and actually WANT to eat vegetables for the first time in months. It’s as though whatever part of my brain wanted to hibernate has cheered the hell up and got over itself. Thanks, subconscious! I have all kinds of plans for this spring and summer and I’m probably going to drive myself mad waiting for it to actually get warm enough to go outside, but one of them will involve growing tomato plants on my windowsil.
You’ll be hearing more about my tomatoey adventures, and you’ll count your little blog-reading selves lucky that I decided against transferring my ‘Picture of the sky, every day’ project from Facebook. The clocks will go forward soon. Not soon enough though.